The Hamptons

Well hello peoples. It's been a bit too long since I've written, so shame on me for not keeping my New Year's resolution. But that doesn't mean I'm throwing the towel in! I'm back on the wagon. And to start things off, I thought I'd inform you of my current situation. I am a nanny for two French children in Bridgehampton, Long Island, New York. The oldest is a girl, Marguerite who is 10 and a bit ridiculous but very bright. The boy, Achille, is 5 and also a bit difficult but cracks me up to no end. Mimi (Marguerite) has very good English and Aki (Achille) is coming along. His favorite thing to say is, "Hey baby."

Photo by M. Worthen (Aki at Uncle Oliver's Pool)

So here I am. In the Hamptons. At the pool everyday, playing with children, learning French, teaching them English... I miss Washington, but I am definitely NOT complaining. À toute à l'heure!

Chart Notes: Geriatrically Punked

Every once in a while, I have the opportunity to help the patients in the back. And every once in a while, the patients play tricks on me. "But aren't most of them old?" you may ask. Yes. Yes they are. Especially on Mondays and Tuesdays. Today was extra special, however. I took a patient in the back and got him situated in his chair. We'll call him... Bud. Normally I'll remove their socks and shoes (stay with me - don't get grossed out) and talk with them for a bit. Well Bud took off his right shoe before I had a chance. Spry, that one. However, he left his left shoe on. So I asked him if we were just looking at the right foot or if we were taking care of both today. He says, "Actually yes. I could use a trim on that one, too." So as I start untying his shoe he pulls up his pant leg slowly. Getting fresh? No. Pranking me? Absolutely. He didn't have a leg! I was blushing and he was laughing. Heartily. J Oh Bud. Thank you. I needed that. Good times...

Behind Schedule...

Hola. In case you haven't noticed, I am EXTREMELY behind schedule. I have about 4 posts that are hiding because they aren't quite done. In the meantime, enjoy this story my sissy shared with me. Of course it was a forward via email so you've probably read it, heard it, or told it before. Ah well. Enjoy it anyhow. Or else!

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and theirparents knew all about it. If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, 'Do you know where God is, son?'

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?'

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'Where is God?!'

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, 'What happened?'

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG trouble this time,'

'GOD is missing, and they think we did it!'

The end.

Love,

Megan.

Prince of Persia

This may be one of the shortest blogs I've ever done... I got to see this in yet another prescreening in Seattle. I went by myself and I loved it. :) It was a lovely date. Just me and Mr. Gyllenhaal. (And all of the other people there, too.)

One of my current mentors who has no idea...

Sorry if any of my readers thinks I am referring to them. I am not. I am, however, referring to Ingrid Michaelson. She is an amazing singer song-writer and I adore her and her work. Every time I think I come up with something good she releases an album ten times better. :) Which I am completely okay with considering she is so ridiculously talented. Click on the link ("Locked Up" below) and you'll see exactly what I mean. (It's only 4 minutes 26 seconds.)

Anyhow, I thought it was about time I shared with you what I hope to do someday. Maybe even in Germany...

My current favorite song - Locked Up by Ingrid Michaelson.

Have I mentioned that I love her?

Chart Notes: My Milkshake

It has been said that my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but today a patient brought me my milkshake. Literally. I don't know if any of you are familiar with Don's Drive-In in Puyallup near the fairgrounds, but one of my patients today was late and we weren't able to see her for another hour. So she said she was going to Don's and asked if we wanted anything. Naturally we said no and then I mentioned that when I was little they used to make these awesome butterscotch milkshakes. Well when my patient came back she had gotten me my milkshake! Thank you lovely woman! Sadly it was not as brilliant as I remembered it, but in this case it was definitely the thought that counted more than anything else. Hooray for strangers loving strangers. Cheers.

Robin Hood

First of all, I love Robin Hood. I love shooting a bow and arrow. I love reciting lines from most Robin Hood movies or tv shows. I am a fan. So when I saw there was a prescreening for the new Robin Hood, I had to try and see it. Even if I had no tickets.

Danny, Jordan, and I knew full well that the chances of us getting in were slim. So we left earlier than we ever have. So early in fact, that when we arrived the line that normally forms out front made up of the general public was relatively short. I went in and saw no moderators, no press sign-in chicas, no prescreening nazis anywhere. So I simply went up to one of the theatre workers and said, "Hi. I'm here for the 7pm screening of Robin Hood. Where are we?" She kindly obliged and told me which theatre I would be in. I summoned Danny and Jordan and just like that we ascended the escalator within the AMC. We arrived at the theatre only to find that the credits for Nightmare on Elm Street were still rolling. So we waited outside with a couple of random people who turned out to be junior olympic archers and the people from 106.1 FM waiting to set up inside. And when they went in, so did we. Our seats were prime.

It was no Gladiator, but Ridley Scott did a pretty fantastic job with this film. Be forewarned, though. This is not a retelling of the legend most of us know from either Errol Flynn, Disney, Costner/Rickman, or BBC-America. This is before all of that. In a nutshell, how he became who he is. NOT him as Robin of the Hood. There are major discrepancies between this telling and all others that I'm remotely familiar with. For example, King Richard is a bit of a tard. Not endearing in the least. And Marion... well, I can't really go into that without revealing rather pertinent things in the plot. However, Cate and Russell did amazing. Loved them both. I also approve of the guy who played Prince John. He was over the top and ridiculous but it worked. "This is my first time in war... I'll lead!!" And there will be times where you will feel like the legend is being completely rewritten: people you're used to hating you will worry you are about to like and vice versa. Just remember that this is before the robbing-from-the-rich-to-feed-the-poor out-law came to be exactly that. On a side note, something that caught me off guard was Matthew Macfadyen. He played the all entirely too grodie Sheriff of Nottingham. Seriously, my skin felt like it was crawling every time I saw him. I completely fell in love with him as Mr. Darcy in the recent Pride & Prejudice with Keira Knightley (ooo, Knightley is the guy from Emma! But I digress...); and so to see him as this yokel - well. Well done to him and the makeup department. It took me a minute or two to even recognize him.

All in all I really liked the movie. Loved it, in fact. And the shot where Robin releases his arrow and you see the blood pouring over his eye through the bow and the string... mm! SO good. Seriously. There are just some priceless moments. Interestingly enough, Robin does not have many lines. But I appreciate the honesty that Russell Crowe brings to this role and any other I've seen him in for that matter. And Cate Blanchett? Fierce as Marion. She amazes me as an actress and what girl can't help but look up to Marion? I love you, Marion. (That phrase means so much more now...) I cannot, however, give the movie full marks and here is why. Like I said about Iron Man 2, it could have been tighter, could have flowed a little better. By the end you are sucked in, but it took a little bit to get there. Also, the underlying "information" seemed rather skeletal. It felt like there were a lot of deleted scenes. But I guess I'll just have to wait to buy it when it comes out with all its features to discover if I'm right, won't I? So I give Robin Hood 4 out of 5 fancy feathered arrows. And no, Whitney. There are no snakes. Just awesomeness.

Release Date: 14 May 2010

Seen: 11 May 2010

Iron Man 2 (the actually screening)

After my epic fail at trying to see Iron Man 2 earlier than its release, Jordan and I decided to go see it opening day. At 11 in the morning. The not-packed theatre made it so we had to really commit to our outward expressions of enjoyment and/or surprise. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it immensely. Of course the wit and humor flowed throughout the entire movie which I thoroughly enjoyed. And who can hold anything against Robert Downey Jr.? I mean really. Yes, that is a slightly biased opinion because I've had a talent (and/or straight up) crush on that man since I first saw him in Chances Are, but he deserves every ounce of praise I or anyone else can give him. One of my favorite parts was when Tony Stark went back to the drawing board so to speak and we got to see him and his brain work. I absolutely loved seeing that creative process portrayed. One of my newer favorite words completely applies: fantastic. Aside from that, him eating donuts in the donut was pretty awesome, too.

Robert Downey Jr./Tony Stark/Iron Man being brilliant...

That being said, I also loved each and every character. Everyone was splendidly cast and wonderfully executed. The only beef I have with the film that is holding me back from giving it 5 glowing glow-sticks is that it was just a bit... loose in some areas. I wanted the story-line to be tighter - more concise. But aside from that, loved it. I highly recommend it. Just don't expect to find this one riddled with twists of any kind. It's straightforward and awesome. Oh, and props to Gwyneth and Scarlet. You rocked it. Men love you, women want to be you. The cast in general though mad me very happy. Hello Mickey Rourke, John Slattery, Samuel L. Jackson, and my faves - Sam Rockwell, Don Cheadle, Jon Favreau, oh and Paul Bettany as the voice of Jarvis... Thank you, men. Thank. You.

So with all that, I give Iron Man 2 a rating of 4 out of 5 brand new (because they're brighter than ones that have been around a bit longer) glowing glow-sticks. Go see it. I will most likely purchase it and add it to my library. But it is mighty fun to see on the big screen. Especially when he's dancing in his suit. That Tony Stark. He's so silly. And I LOVE it!

Release Date: 7 May 2010

Seen: 7 May 2010

Iron Man 2 Prescreening FAIL!

It was bound to happen some time or another...

Yesterday, Bruce, Pam, Danny, Jordan and I all headed up to Seattle a bit too late if you ask me (I said around 5pm people!!). When we arrived, the line was ridiculous. Not to mention I left my passes at the office (I've never needed them in Washington before) and the press spot I normally take was already filled. :'( Pam, however, got past all the shenanigans and was up in the theatre corresponding with Bruce while Danny, Jordan and I started to create inside jokes and refreshed a few old ones. Good times... Unless you don't get in to see the movie you came to see!! Well, after Pam came back down to join us mere mortals who couldn't/wouldn't sneak our way in, I decided to talk with one of the power-hungry no-one-gets-in-unless-I-say-so chicas. She recognized me from some of the previous screenings. She emailed me and I'm on my way to officially being put on the press invite list. Booyah. She also said we could go to the screening on Thursday (6 May 2010) at the Pacific Science Center, but I have a previous engagement and therefore will NOT be attending. However, since I do not have to work on Friday, you better believe I'll be pulling a morning visit to the movie theatre - Longston perhaps? Maybe the SuperMall? Say 10 AM-ish?

So Iron Man 2, I will happily pay a few bucks to see you along with the general public. The rest of you will just have to await my review until then. Or you could just come along.

Release Date: 7 May 2010

Seen: Not yet...

The Losers

This post is dedicated to Troy Stucki. This is why:

Troy: So how was the movie?

Megan: You want me to spill before my blog review??

Troy: Yes. Then I'll feel more special.

Megan: Haha! Okay. Let's validate "special" Troy.

Troy: Thank you! I wish more people would realize how important that is.

Well Troy, now everyone knows. :D

Here's what we discussed. The Losers was very entertaining. If you aren't easily affronted by mild swearing, immorality, violence, or bad timing, then this is the movie for you! Now, I am a sucker for comic book movies in general. However, I am not familiar with The Losers as a graphic novel and felt that that fact was a disadvantage to me as a spectator. It wasn't as accessible like, say Batman or Iron Man or X-Men. You did not need to be an avid follower of the comics to enjoy any of those franchises, but at the same time if you were it informed and enhanced the experience that much more. Another thing that is perhaps a drawback is that my favorite people to watch in the movie were supporting roles. None of the "main" main characters. Also, the editing could have been tighter. Or maybe it was the directing. I don't know. But I do know that when you are trying to have witty repartee there shouldn't be 2 to 3 second beats between each clever line. All of that being said, I did enjoy it. And as my dad* so aptly put it, there were low points, but there were also some really great high points. Jensen, Cougar, Pooch, Go Petunias, Blackgyver, Don't Stop Believin'... They were fantastic. The long and short of it? I approve. But on a scale of 1 to 5 machetes, realistically 2 and a shiv. It had the potential of being so much more. So if you have an overwhelming desire to see it in the theatre, make sure you go to a matinée and that you go with the right people.

*My dad was my date for the movie. It's been a while since we've gone to a non-mom movie. I printed out tickets, prepared to be legit because I'm experimenting with playing by the rules vs. working the system. Well, the line was long so Papa and I walked up to the ticket-taker to ask about the movie and the wait. I said, "Hi," and before I could say another word the lady says, "Oh good. Press. Sign in." So I did.

Ahhhh! Ha-hahhhh! Ah-ah-ahahahahahahhhhhhh! (That's singing...)

Sometimes I feel like Aurora. You know, Sleeping Beauty, with all her woodland friends...

As I was leaving for work this morning, I walked onto my front porch this morning and was greated by this gianormous mallard on my lawn with his lady duck friend about 30 to 40 feet behind him.

Photo by M. Worthen (Mr. Mallard and his Lady Friend - 1206 Firland Drive)*

He just stared at me. I kind of felt like a deer in the headlights. Who knew that mallards had such a hypnotic stare... Well, unfortunately, I did not have time to engage in a favorite past time of mine with my nature friends (staring contests, in case you were wondering). So instead I broke the trance and said, "Well good morning to you, too, Mr. Mallard." Then I went on my way and he went back to being guardian of the lawn. Fist-pump in the air to you, Mr. Mallard.

*If you've never seen my lawn in person, it is not small. So for reference, the white speck is the duck's chest, the brown spot up and slightly to the right of him near the edge of the lawn is his lady friend, and over in the top left hand corner something that resembles a squirrel is actually a bench. Notice that you could probably sit about 3 of him on the bench. He was huge but beautiful.

Chart Notes: Elaine Same-Day-Cancellation-For-No-Good-Reason

Megan: "Family Foot Clinic, this is Megan."

Elaine: "...Well I don't know. Get me the number!"
Megan: "Hello?"

Random background participant: "...Just hit the redial button!..."

Elaine: "But what's THAT gonna do?"

Megan: "Hello? Can I help you? Hello?"

Elaine: (without missing a beat) "Is this Dr. Worthen's office?!"

Megan: "Yes this is. How can I help you?"

Elaine: "Well I have an appoint around 11:15 I think and I'd like to cancel it!"

Megan: "11:15 today?" (which was in about an hour)

Elaine: "Yes!"

Megan: "Okay. May I ask why?"

Miss Same-Day: "I just don't feel like going out! So I'm cancelling!"

Oh, Medicare patient...

Easter with the California McKeown's in Washington

I am sure my sister Anna will do better justice to being here in Washington with her family for the past week on her blog, but I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say that I absolutely loved having Anna, Greg, Gracie, Evie, Jack, and Esther here. I love you guys and can't wait to see you again in a couple of months!

Photo by A. McKeown (Essie & Meggie)

Letters to Juliet

I had every intention doing things different this time around. I legitimately RSVP’d to txtMovieClub.com for the prescreening of Letters to Juliet and received two passes for tonight. So Jessica Wesenberg and I headed up to Seattle after work to go stand in line with the rest of the masses. No press-ing it this time. We first went to the front to tell the every so nice lady (I am being extremely generous in my description) that we were there for the screening. To which she responded that we could get at the back of the line. I asked her about the press and she said they weren’t invited to this one. Phew. Glad my press-pass was tucked away. ;) Well, the line was gianormous and we had a bit to wait and the drive was rather lengthy and I drink a lot of water… so they let us use the facilities. And to my normally never-present luck, they started letting people into the screening right when we got out. There was no monitoring, so Jessica and I mad our move and slipped into the movie theatre unnoticed. We got the best seats in the house (you know the ones I mean, in the front row of the stadium seating where you can put your feet up on the bar). I guess it was just meant to be. On to the review…

Photo by random lady at the Pacific Place AMC (Megan & Jessica at the Letters to Juliet Prescreening)

On the way to the movie, Jessica and I were discussing how many people including ourselves wanted to see the movie but how at the same time we felt as though the trailers left nothing of the story to be discovered. However, I was pleasantly surprised. In fact, I would go as far as to say that I loved this movie. And as I posted on my facebook status immediately following (because if it's not on facebook, it never happened)... "I approve. I very much approve. I would not oppose if this movie had a cameo in my life." There were plenty of things to be delighted and frustrated with, and the characters were fun to invest in. And sure, it may not be too terribly if at all realistic, but isn't that why we go to the movies? To suspend our disbelief and enjoy the unreality? I am a sucker for a good love story and, let's be honest, love in general. So allow me to reiterate two things that were said more than once in this movie: 1) if it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now and 2) love has no expiration date. Wise and very true words. So on a scale of 1 to 5 m&ms, give me all 5. But for the rest of you, it is a chick flick but an enjoyable and surprisingly somewhat relatable one at that.

Seen: 7 April 2010

Release Date: 14 May 2010

My Froggy Friend

My mum enlisted my voice for the Multi-Stake Easter Concerts this year. Well after our last concert last night and after dropping my friend Jonathan Fowles off at home, I noticed something hopping across the street... In the dark... In front of my car... So I slammed on the brakes expecting to find nothing and instead found this guy...

Photo by A. McKeown (Froggy right before I set him free to be with his other ribbetting friends in the trees outside)

...just looking up at me. So I put my hand out and he hopped right on. Naturally I put him in the car and immediately drove home. Every 5 minutes or so I turn the light on to see if I could find him, fully expecting him to be hidden under the passenger seat or lost forever in one of those yucky crevices that pennies get stuck in. Oh no. I turned the light on and he was chillin' on the passenger floor mat, enjoying the ride apparently. Turn the light on quite a bit later - still in the same place. When I got home, I put my hand down and he jumped right on. I took him inside and introduced my new friend to my mum, dad, sister Anna, and brother-in-law Greg. I told them how Froggy and I met and then a photo shoot ensued.

Photo by A. McKeown (Meggie & Froggy)

Well Froggy, I'm glad I slammed on the brakes and that we met. That you got to meet some of my family. That you are now dwelling in the trees around my house. Sadly you were not waiting to be turned back into your human princely self with a kiss, but you are a prince to me nonetheless. Mwah.

The Last Song

Yes folks, I traversed yet again to Seattle for a free movie screening of The Last Song. I was accompanied by two fantastic ladies (Nikki Barbour - no stranger to the prescreening - and Jessica Wesenberg - first-time attendee). And with the exception of Miley Cyrus, we absolutely loved it. Now, how can you love a movie without its main character? I honestly don't know, but we did. Maybe it's the fact she wasn't pretending to be two people, maybe it's the fact she didn't sing... Who's to say? But needless to say my favorite person was hands down Greg Kinnear. I am a huge fan - even when he's a bad guy (to clarify Kinnear is NOT a bad guy in this film). And the kid who played her younger brother? He was simply fantastic. I won't lie. I shed a few tears and more than once. Nicholas Sparks has a knack for that I suppose. And the fact that playing the piano had a bit to do with the plot didn't hurt. So I guess on a scale of 1 to 5 bowls of my homemade applesauce, I'd give it a solid 3. And if you're a Miley Cyrus fan, most likely a 4 with a couple extra spoonfuls and a dash of cinnamon. So if you like a good tear jerker and baby sea turtles, it's worth at least a matinee in the theater.

Screened: 25 March 2010

Release Date: 31 March 2010

Jack Bauer Has Infiltrated My Thought Process

As I was driving my father and myself home from work today, we noticed an SUV parked on the west side of Fruitland Avenue near the 7th Avenue intersection in Puyallup. Dad asks, "Why in the world would someone park there? That makes no sense." You see, there is pretty much nothing out there except the WSU fields and the Anderson's farm and maybe 4 feet for a shoulder. If you can call it that. So I answer, "Well, maybe they ran out of gas. Or perhaps they have a flat. Or maybe they got kidnapped. You know. Forced out by gunpoint." My dad just looked at me. It took me a minute to realize he was looking at me with an excuse-me-what look on his face. My response, "Sorry, daddy. I think I've been watching too much 24.*" Yeah. That was pretty much the end of that conversation.

(But maybe they were...)

*There is no such thing as "too much 24."

My Visit to Underland

It's official. I love Alice in Wonderland. I love how the original animated feature and this feature commingle Carroll's two tales* beautifully. I love that in the 2010 continuation, the bizarre and the normal are woven together so fantastically that it was easy for me to suspend my disbelief. I hope that I am not building up anyone's expectations, but I really liked the Disney classic and simply adore this continued telling.

Disney presents "Alice in Wonderland" a film by Tim Burton

Surprisingly, Helena Bonham Carter's (or Bellatrix Lestrange for you Potter fanatics) performance as the Red Queen was my least favorite. However, she was still superb and brought plenty of lunacy but also vulnerability to the part which made her fit perfectly in Underland (the actual name of the world Alice visits) as the incredulous tyrant. And Anne Hathaway (the White Queen)... I've never been too terribly impressed with her. Sure, she's a nice actress and she's not completely unfortunate looking, but my admiration for her as an actress just went up heaps because of her work in this. I now officially like you, Miss Anne. Mia Wasikowska was, well, perfect. She WAS Alice. And the Mad Hatter? He's Scotch. Yeah. Don't get me started on Mr. Depp. I have one of the biggest talent-crushes ever on that man and clearly I'm not ashamed to admit it.

What can I say, I was thoroughly impressed. Of course it didn't hurt that Mr. Burton also used the voices of some of my favorites. Alan Rickman as Absolem (the Blue Caterpillar), Matt Lucas as the Tweedles, and Stephen Fry as the Cheshire Cat. Oh yeah. And we can't forget creepy Crispin Glover as Stayne (the Knave of Hearts). So in fine, I highly approve of Disney's/Burton's film, and my love and admiration of Johnny Depp's talent is justifiably still in tact.

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?

Alice: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

*Lewis Carroll did not write these stories whilst on acid as some have been led to believe. In fact, Carroll is actually the pen name of Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland was originally a story Carroll made up to entertain the three young Liddell sisters while they were rowing up the River Thames in 1865, one of which was a 10 year old named Alice. His other tale, Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found there came about 6 years later after a conversation with another Alice about her reflection in the mirror. Curiouser and curiouser, no?

Down the White Rabbit's Hole

Dinah is the name of Alice's cat. In case you were wondering.

Anyhow, I figured I would watch the 1951 cartoon version of Alice in Wonderland before going to see the 2010 Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland. Let me tell you, it was fun. And it took me back to so many of the Disney classics because of the voices that haunt that old film.

For example, the Dodo (as well as the White Rabbit for that matter) is the same voice as King Hubert in Sleeping Beauty (Bill Thompson). And the Cheshire Cat? Yeah. That's Sterling Holloway. Who's that you ask? Just Winnie the Pooh. And the Queen of Hearts is also the Fairy Godmother from Cinderella and the Mad Hatter is Uncle Albert from Mary Poppins... I could go on but I will refrain.

So along with the psychedelic realization that Disney wisely recycles their employees (if anyone reading has the power, my dream is to be a Disney voice - I'm just sayin'), I absolutely loved watching the movie again. And let me tell you, I am so excited for the continuation. Oh yes. Tim Burton's new addition is not a reboot but rather a Disney-endorsed continuation of their original animated film. It's Alice a bit older going back to Wonderland to take care of some bidniss. The fact that I am a Burton fan (fell for his work with the first Keaton Batman film) and a Johnny Depp fan (can you say 21 Jump Street?) only adds to the anticipation.

And by the way, I will be purchasing a ticket for this experience. So here's to creepy smiling cats and, awesome colors, and croquette. Cheers.

Olympic-ness

My parents and I have been watching the Olympics. We DVR them every night (yes, I just made DVR a verb), and if I don't climb right into bed after work, we'll watch the parts we like. Well, today was another 12 hour day at the office, so after eating dinner whilst viewing an episode of White Collar, we turned on some Olympic Games. We were at the event where a skier goes down a hill and sails through the air. It reminded me of those old - I mean like early 1980's - computer games where you used the arrows on the keyboard to control the angle of the skis... Anyhow, the name of the event escaped me. This exchange ensued:

Me: Hey Dad, what's the name of this event?

Dad: Ski flying.

He was dead serious and I was laughing so hard it was silent for at least 2 minutes. No joke. My sides are still a bit sore. Pam (my mother) was more vocal, reminiscent of a rather delightful hyena. Poor papa. Happy Olympics, everyone. Enjoy some ski flying.

Chart Notes: Jane McBossy

A patient's ride walks in (without the patient) about 30 minutes before her appointment, comes right up to the desk and says, "Jane McBossy*, she has an appointment. She thinks her heart is bothering her. Do you have any aspirin?"

"I don't think so," I replied in a very nice manner. "But I'll go in the back and check, just in case." "Yes," she demanded. "Do that."

I go to the back, look all around, find ibuprofen, acetaminophen, hot cocoa, and various other drugs but no aspirin at all. When I return to the front...

"Well?"

"I looked everywhere and we do not have any. I am so sorry."

"Did you ask the nurse?"

"No, she's with a patient." (She lets out a sound of disgust. I hear our nurse coming down the hall.) "Oh wait, I think I hear her. Let me go see."

"I think a heart is more important than her patient."

Really? Really lady? You're gonna walk into my office and tell me to drop everything to find you some aspirin.

Chart notes: After being unsatisfied with my answer, I recommended her trying the pediatrics office next door or the family practice across the street for. When Jane came in for her appointment 10 minutes later, I asked if they found some aspirin. Yes they had, next door at the pedes office. The lady: "Hey Jane, how is your heart?" Jane: "Oh. Sooo much better."

Rx: Take a chill pill.

*The patient's real name has been changed. Clearly.

Driving Karma?

I may not have much luck, but I do have good parking karma. I do. I can provide witnesses. Well, I think it may have rubbed off on my driving.

So on Friday, 19 February 2010, my friend Damon and I went to pick up my other friend Nykele from the airport. After a fun-filled evening of Shari's, chatting, a German art song, and getting Nykele situated at her home, Damon and I called it a night and headed back to our neck of the woods. I was driving along Meridian continuing onto 104th Street in Puyallup, approaching the 94th Avenue intersection...

Dun dun dun. (That's ominous music.)

It was late at night and I had already come across about 7 cop cars. (That is not an exaggeration.) The light was green, but then it turned yellow at that point where you just can't win: you're too close to come to a nice gradual stop and too far to make it through without stepping on it and officially speeding. Damon* kept saying, "Go. Go! GO!" And for some reason I couldn't bring myself to go above 35. Me. Miss The-Speed-Limit-is-a-Suggestion-I-Believe-in-the-Autobahn-and-the-Nürburgring. Well, the light stayed yellow. So I stepped on it. Just in time for the light to turn red as I am about to cross the stop line. So what do I do? I slam on the brakes. Made a screech worthy of a movie. And came to a stop in the middle of the intersection. Don't worry. There were only two other cars around. One on the left and one on the right, each waiting at a full green light as I sat in the middle of the intersection not knowing what to do. Why did I not know what to do? Because it was then I realized both cars were police cars.

I sat there for a good 6 seconds freaking out trying to decide what was the lesser of the two law-breakages: go the rest of the way through the intersection, completely running a red light, or put the Camry in reverse and back up to the stop line. In my mind it was more simply, "Jail. Or jail." Well, I decided to back it up. Once I was out of reverse and at a full stop behind the line, the police car to the right went through the light but the car to the left just sat there. They sat there and just looked at me until their light turned yellow. Then they went through the light. (I'm pretty sure I said "I'm sorry" over and over again to the officers. And even though they couldn't hear me, I think it made a difference.) Damon and I kept watching their car as we went through the intersection, just waiting for them to turn around and follow us. But the second we couldn't see them anymore, you better believe I stepped on the gas and cruised to Fruitland Avenue as fast as I could. Fortunately, I saw no headlights in the rear-view mirror before I turned the corner and got home with no more incidents. Aidez moi.

So thankfully for me, my non-luck decided to step aside for the evening. Imagine if I had followed Damon's advice and sped through the intersection. No bueno. I really don't know what else to say. Except thank you officers for not pulling me over. I have no idea why they didn't, except maybe they were laughing so hard they couldn't bring themselves to pull me over. That would explain why they sat at the light so long... Well, I left some burnt rubber in the intersection for ye. Take a look the next time you're passing through. (Is it wrong that I'm a little proud? Tee hee hee.)

*After this and other events which happened to Damon later the same evening, I have decided that even though I will still be friends with him, I will not listen to his driving advice. :D

Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Oh Percy Jackson... Welcome to the big screen. Last night I made the trek up to Seattle yet again to sit in the fancy schmancy reserved seating at the Pacific Palace AMC for a prescreening of Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief. (The picture on the poster was quite possibly my favorite part of the movie. FYI.)

If you did not know it, this movie is based on the first book in the series Percy Jackson & the Olympians. I will simply say that if you are a fan of the book, a picky film goer, or simply have a hard time suspending your disbelief, you will be disappointed with the film. However, if you like a good kids' flick and don't mind cheesiness on the big screen, then Percy Jackson is the film for you!

Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed the movie. However, I absolutely loved the first book and had just a few minor expectations. Like not masticating the entire premise of the story!! I mean come on. Is that really too much to ask? I can look past changing the age of the main characters, or cutting back some of the scenes - shoot, changing them completely for that matter... But taking out major characters and changing more than one core concept of the entire plot-line? I worry for the success of this picture and the possibility of any future ones.

I think I may be getting harsher in my movie critiques...

Well, I have not yet finished the remainder of the books (there are 5 in the series), but I am planning on it. I just hope that they are able to do a second movie and do the book more justice than this one did.

So on a scale of 1 to 5 chocolate-chip cookies, I would probably give it around 2 if you've read the books, 3 1/2 if you haven't. But then again, it really just comes down to your expectations, right? I think I've said it before and I'll most likely say it again: expectations not met equals disappointment. Meh. I'll get over it. And I'll most likely end up eventually buying the movie. What can I say? I'm a sucker for mythology. And Percy Jackson.

Valentine's Day

So on Monday, February 8, 2010, I assumed my place in the press once again and went to a prescreening of Valentine's Day in Seattle.

I was accompanied by two gentlemen who happen to enjoy a good chick flick as much as (if not more so than) me. We arrived a bit late and did not get to sit together, but all was good in the end. Or was it?

Let's push aside the fact that the man sitting to the right of us was potently drunk and started snoring not even 10 minutes into the film. Believe it or not, I can get past that. And maybe I'm getting more picky, but this movie just didn't do it for me. It was as if it was trying to be Love Actually but had the emotional pay-off value of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider*. Ouch. That actually hurt me to write that. Okay. Redeemable qualities. The acting was believable. And I loved the actors. But the individual story lines... It was like I would start to care, but then it would get resolved and I was, "That's it? Really? That's how you're going to 'end' that? If you even call that an end. Come on!" And the last line of the movie? Possibly the worst ever. Ready? Some radio personality, real or made-up, is voicing over right before the credits and bloopers roll. Fuego Valentino or something like that... Here it is:

"And as we end the day, we're all just hoping to hear those three little words: let's get ___."

(edited for family friendliness - but it kind of looks like the word 'baked')

Really? Really?! Gah! Oh well. On a brighter note, there really are some great scenes. And my favorite story-line and the one true pay-off of the whole movie goes to Julia Roberts. Well done lady. Oh, and Gary Marshall's cameo in the mariachi band. I approve of that as well.

So in short, I liked it. But it's not a must-see for the theatres. In fact, I would skip the video store, too, and wait for TBS to air it. I'm sure they will. As they should. It's an entertaining film. Just not what I was hoping for I guess. But those are the rules: if you have expectations and they aren't met or exceeded, you will be disappointed. So now that you have a frank perspective, go and enjoy it!

*I enjoyed Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. But let's face it, it was not exactly an emotionally charged chick flick, was it?

PS If by some weird stroke of what I refer to as non-luck any of the actors from this movie read this, first, thanks for reading! And second, be assured that I enjoyed your performances. You were fantastic. I just had a hard time suspending my disbelief in some areas. Don't hate me.

I Forgive Pam. And Bruce.

I am writing not a retraction, nor an apology, but an it's-all-good-now post. Pam, Bruce, and I are once again on good terms. After "the incident," Pam and Bruce went out and bought a gallon of Tillamook Chocolate Peanut-Butter ice cream and we shared it. So there. I forgive Pam. (And Bruce. Apparently he was not guiltless in "the incident.") But let's face the truth here: CPB is very much a Siren and can you really blame someone for crashing on its delectable shore? I think not.

Photo by M. Worthen (Pam & Bruce, Central Park Zoo, NY)

I love you Mum & Dad.

Nuh-uh. Not. Cool.

My favorite ice cream is Chocolate Peanut-butter*. I'm not talking peanut-butter flavored ice cream with chocolate pieces in it, or vanilla ice cream with peanut-butter cups and a chocolate swirl in it... no. Good old-fashioned chocolate ice cream (the darker the better) with peanut-butter ribbons in it. I think my favorite CPB is Haagen Dazs, but in Washington you won't get much better than Tillamook. Now the thing about this ice cream is that I hardly ever find it. In fact, whenever I go by the C-Town by my apartment in Manhattan, I have a little deal with myself that if there is a little pint of CPB ice cream, I will get it. Otherwise, I am not the biggest ice cream fan. Sorry if that sounds like blaspheme, but there it is. On to the tragic event...

I was on my way to a friend's for a dinner and stopped by Summit Trading to pick up a couple of contributions when I was walking down the ice cream aisle and lo, and behold...


Photo M. Worthen

Ahhhh!!! (That's me singing like a choir of angels...) There it was! My ice cream exception. I was so thrilled. So I did the unthinkable and bought me a gallon. Well, I had an interesting evening and eventually returned home, quite tuckered out, so I put my gallon in the freezer. The next day was one of even more interesting happenings and so I thought to reward myself with a little bowl of ice cream. It was delightful. And I thought to myself, "At this rate, this will last me quite a few weeks and each day after dealing with crazies I can have a small respite. Fantastic!" Little did I know my plan was about to be foiled. A couple evenings later, just this past Tuesday in fact, I was having a dreadful day and about to head out to be pleasantly social when I went to the freezer to have a couple bites of my ice cream... but it was gone.

Now, our freezer is not big. It is small. There are only so many places a gallon can hide. So I begged the question to my mother, "Have you seen my ice cream?"

Silence.

"Pam, did you eat all of my ice cream?"

And then she laughed. More like cackled. I shut the freezer dumbfounded. I asked again. More laughter. "It was your father!" And then dad, "I don't think so!"

Me again, in very much a whimper, "You ate all of my ice cream? I barely had any."

I was suppressing my tears. Very embarrassed with my head hung low and I shuffled out of the room to go to the car when my mum calls out, "She's not crying, is she?" More laughter. Then me from the foyer, "Yes!!!" Then I left.

Not cool, Pam. Not. Cool.

No retaliation planned. Yet.

*Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip is second, with Rainbow Sherbet as a close third.

The Lovely Bones

I love movies. I do. Media in general, actually (except the news - I can't stand the news). But this post is in the vein of movies.

Last night, 3 of my friends and I went to the prescreening of The Lovely Bones. "But wait!" you might say. "That doesn't come out until January 15th!" You are correct. But that is the beauty of prescreenings. You do not pay and you get to see a first run movie before it's even out. All you have to do is be kind of a big deal. Which I am. AKA know how to work the system. Which I do...

Photo by Ricky V. (from left to right Megan, Nikki, some dude from Movin 92.5, Becca, & Danny)

I got us in with the press, we had fantastic seats, and the boys from the radio station were kind of in love with us. Now as for the movie itself, I could write and write and write about my take on it. A review if you will. But seeing as I need my precious sleep for what the next few days hold for me, I will simply say that it was well made but couldn't decide what to be. Is it a suspense-thriller, a horror, movie, an avant garde interpretation? Make up your mind! That being said, I did enjoy it. However, not having to pay a dime for it most likely enhanced my enjoyment of it. It was disturbing which I believe was one of the points, but I was sucked in and as Danny so accurately put, "It made me think." That it definitely did.

So there is that. I saw the Lovely Bones, but I have no desire to see it again. Well made, well played, but not one for those who enjoy an ending tied up in a neat bow.

I Love You Whitney Etta

It's Sunday and I should be getting ready for church. But instead I have chosen to procrastinate a few moments and write. My parents just left to take my sister Whitney to the airport. I fully intended to go until mum pointed out that they wouldn't be getting back till 2pm at the earliest and I am clearly not ready for church, so there that went.

I love my sister. So much. I love to laugh with her, talk with her, listen to her, watch movies with her, make fun of life with her, eat with her, travel with her, drink nasty green smoothies with her (seriously, you put way too much broccoli in those)... Neither of us are perfect, but I miss her daily when we're part - or even when we're in the same house but she's quarantined - and I would do anything for her.

Photo M. Worthen (Whitney & Megan - Statue of Liberty 2007)

But alas, she is now on her way back to California. My heart is sore and my eyes are rather red. We rarely get to see each other, but at least I have the comfort in that she's my sister and I have her for eternity.

Okay. My time is up! I have to now be wise: blow my nose, wipe my tears, be a man, rub some dirt in it... or something like that. Today's Sunday School lesson is "Thou Wast Chosen Before Thou Wast Born." How true and how blessed am I to have such a wonderful, funny, and beautiful spirit chosen to be my sister. And how lovely that I have and will know her forever.

New Year * New Blog

Well hello everyone!

As you may or may not know, I am not the best blogger. However, with a new year comes new resolutions and this little horsey has decided to be a better blogger. And instead of my massive website that I had before, I have decided to consolidate it all here in the City of Megan.

So do not you worry. You can still know what book I'm reading, what music I recommend, what random things that happen to me that make my life the movie that it is... . Just one condition to you perusing my city - this is a judge-free zone. Well, usually.

So sit back and enjoy a tour of the City of Megan which happens to be my life.

And by the way...

Photo T. Nielsen January 1, 2010 (taken from M. Worthen's camera)

Happy 2010.