Chart Notes: Geriatrically Punked

Every once in a while, I have the opportunity to help the patients in the back. And every once in a while, the patients play tricks on me. "But aren't most of them old?" you may ask. Yes. Yes they are. Especially on Mondays and Tuesdays. Today was extra special, however. I took a patient in the back and got him situated in his chair. We'll call him... Bud. Normally I'll remove their socks and shoes (stay with me - don't get grossed out) and talk with them for a bit. Well Bud took off his right shoe before I had a chance. Spry, that one. However, he left his left shoe on. So I asked him if we were just looking at the right foot or if we were taking care of both today. He says, "Actually yes. I could use a trim on that one, too." So as I start untying his shoe he pulls up his pant leg slowly. Getting fresh? No. Pranking me? Absolutely. He didn't have a leg! I was blushing and he was laughing. Heartily. J Oh Bud. Thank you. I needed that. Good times...

Chart Notes: My Milkshake

It has been said that my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but today a patient brought me my milkshake. Literally. I don't know if any of you are familiar with Don's Drive-In in Puyallup near the fairgrounds, but one of my patients today was late and we weren't able to see her for another hour. So she said she was going to Don's and asked if we wanted anything. Naturally we said no and then I mentioned that when I was little they used to make these awesome butterscotch milkshakes. Well when my patient came back she had gotten me my milkshake! Thank you lovely woman! Sadly it was not as brilliant as I remembered it, but in this case it was definitely the thought that counted more than anything else. Hooray for strangers loving strangers. Cheers.

Chart Notes: Elaine Same-Day-Cancellation-For-No-Good-Reason

Megan: "Family Foot Clinic, this is Megan."

Elaine: "...Well I don't know. Get me the number!"
Megan: "Hello?"

Random background participant: "...Just hit the redial button!..."

Elaine: "But what's THAT gonna do?"

Megan: "Hello? Can I help you? Hello?"

Elaine: (without missing a beat) "Is this Dr. Worthen's office?!"

Megan: "Yes this is. How can I help you?"

Elaine: "Well I have an appoint around 11:15 I think and I'd like to cancel it!"

Megan: "11:15 today?" (which was in about an hour)

Elaine: "Yes!"

Megan: "Okay. May I ask why?"

Miss Same-Day: "I just don't feel like going out! So I'm cancelling!"

Oh, Medicare patient...

Chart Notes: Jane McBossy

A patient's ride walks in (without the patient) about 30 minutes before her appointment, comes right up to the desk and says, "Jane McBossy*, she has an appointment. She thinks her heart is bothering her. Do you have any aspirin?"

"I don't think so," I replied in a very nice manner. "But I'll go in the back and check, just in case." "Yes," she demanded. "Do that."

I go to the back, look all around, find ibuprofen, acetaminophen, hot cocoa, and various other drugs but no aspirin at all. When I return to the front...

"Well?"

"I looked everywhere and we do not have any. I am so sorry."

"Did you ask the nurse?"

"No, she's with a patient." (She lets out a sound of disgust. I hear our nurse coming down the hall.) "Oh wait, I think I hear her. Let me go see."

"I think a heart is more important than her patient."

Really? Really lady? You're gonna walk into my office and tell me to drop everything to find you some aspirin.

Chart notes: After being unsatisfied with my answer, I recommended her trying the pediatrics office next door or the family practice across the street for. When Jane came in for her appointment 10 minutes later, I asked if they found some aspirin. Yes they had, next door at the pedes office. The lady: "Hey Jane, how is your heart?" Jane: "Oh. Sooo much better."

Rx: Take a chill pill.

*The patient's real name has been changed. Clearly.